I awake with the morning sun beaming down on my face. The cool breeze from the window makes shivers go up my spine. I look to my left and see my two-year-old son starring at me.
Sammy: "I got to go pee! Please mama take my pull up off."
Me: Ok Sammy lets go get you on the big potty."
I walk up the stairs carrying Sammy all the way. I set him on the potty and tell him to go pee. He then lets out some serious morning gas.
" I farted mama! He he he!"
"Say excuse me Sammy."
"Excuse me" Sammy says in a small, meek voice.
"Are you all done Sammy?"
"Uh huh."
"Ok then lets go downstairs and get breakfast."
"Do you want French toast or cereal today?"
"I want chocolate milk!"
"Sammy get out of the fridge please. I will get you chocolate milk in a minute. I have to get your cereal first."
"OK mama"
"Get up to the table and sit in your seat, I will bring your breakfast over."
As we sit down to eat I notice that Sammy has his finger up his nose.
"Don’t pick you nose Sammy it is disgusting. No Sammy doesn’t eat it either! That is not OK Sammy we don’t pick our nose and eat it."
"Sorry mama."
"Now please eat your breakfast and then you can take your bath and get ready for your day at home with mama."
After bath time came and went I read books to Sammy and played with the cat a bit. Sammy is always torturing our cat and in turn our cat tortures Sammy.
" Mama, cat bite big boy."
" You need to leave the cat alone and stop trying to put him in the box, then the cat wont bite you. OK Sammy it is time for your nap, Go get silky and mama will sing some songs to you while you go to sleep.”
“ I want my binky too.”
“OK here is your binky and silky now lets sing a few songs. Can you sing little star for me?”
“Tinkle, tinkle wittle sta, how wonda what are, up abut the erld so eye, like a dima in the sky, twinkle, wittle sta.”
“Good job honey! Now can you sing Rock a by Baby?”
“Ock a baby on tee ta, en the win blow the cadle will ock. En the bow bakes the cadle will fall, and down will come Sammy, ight into mam’s arms. YEAH!
“Great job Sammy! Now go to sleep and when you wake up Daddy will be home.”
Now that I can relax and do my homework, I sit at the computer with my eyes heavy and my brain empty. I dont know what to write for this dialogue theme. I hope and pray that I do not have redo it like I have had to do with some of the prompts. Sitting here with my cold hands on the keyboard, I can’t think of any dialogue I have on a regular basis other than with my kids. It is awfully cute when my two year old sings to me! ;)
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Theme Week Two
It is August 28, 1994 and my parents just bought a house an hour away from my current home. I don't want to leave, I don't want to lose my friends, and I don't want to start a new life. I have been in the Bucksport area all my life. I am fifteen years old and I have so many friends here. I just don't want to leave! I am crying the whole way to our new house. We get there and immediately start unpacking the uhaul. I like the new house and all but my new school is at least a half hour drive from the new house. The new house is great and has a lot more room than our old house. There is four bedrooms and two bathrooms, an attached garage, and a huge yard to play with my dog.
I only have three days until my freshman year of high school starts, so my mom takes me shopping. I figure if I have to make such a dramatic change for my parents, then my mom is going to have to make some dramatic changed too. I have her take me to get my hair cut, and I decide to cut it short. My hair is down to my lower back and my mom has never let me cut it any shorter than my middle back. She would braid my hair every day before school and make me look pretty. She crys when she sees my hair cut all the way up to my shoulders. But she told me that it was my choice and that as long as I didn't make myself look like a boy then she would be alright with it. The beautician puts the sixteen inches of hair in a braid and gives it to my mom.
My first day of high school and I don't know anyone. On the bus ride a girl named Rose sits with me. She invites me to join her church youth group and go on a hike of Gulf Hagus with them. I kindly accept and asked my parents if I could go. My parents meet The youth group leader and help me pack for my trip. They are ecstatic that I made a friend so quickly. My father use to hike Gulf Hagus when he was younger and gives em some pointers on how to stay safe on the hike. It was a long day of hiking and then we went to a Steve Green concert at the Bangor Auditorium. I was amazed at the feeling I got from his music. I was saved that night at the concert and church became a huge part of my life.
After my freshman year I went through a relationship that broke my heart half way into my junior year. I met him at church and thought that his faith in God was as strong as mine had become. He wanted so much that was not in God's plan for me. So after about a year and half with him I caught him cheating on me. I guess waiting wasn't something he could do. So after a broken heart I changed my plan for my life. I signed up to Join the Maine Army National Guard. I joined in April of 1997 and had my very first drill weekend that month. I met the most wonderful man that weekend. I left for Basic training on June 19, 1997. I returned home on September 7, 1997. I finally let down my guard and knew that the "army guy" was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Our first time together physically I go pregnant.
I was confused and didn't know what to do. He was almost ten years older than me and I was scared that he would leave. He didn't leave though. He stayed by my side through every appointment, class, and pain. He was a wonderful man! We had our son on May 5, 1998. I graduated from high school on June 7, 1998. Brian (Army guy) had gotten an active duty position in Old Orchard Beach. So the day after I graduated, I moved my son and I down to live with him. Throughout the next few years we moved around the state of Maine for Brian's job. I stayed true to my beliefs in God but I did not find a church that I felt welcomed in. So I would attend my home church in Corinth when I could. And since Brian was Catholic, I attended his church in Hampden as often as possible.
Our son grew right before our eyes. He was so smart and full of energy. When he was five his father and I parted ways. We did not live together but still kept each other as best friends. We both put our son above all others. This helped when we found out that our son has Tourettes Syndrome and severe ADHD. We still to this day have daily contact with each other and share custody of our son. I am now back In Bucksport where my life began and Brian is in Hampden where his life began. We agree to raise our son to love everyone no matter what their financial, emotional, or physical status is. We have done a great job over the past ten years of raising our wonderful son. I am however not ready for our son to grow up into a young man. I have noticed signs that I embarrass him and that he no longer needs "mama's magic kisses" when he falls down. At least I now have another son that still needs me.
I only have three days until my freshman year of high school starts, so my mom takes me shopping. I figure if I have to make such a dramatic change for my parents, then my mom is going to have to make some dramatic changed too. I have her take me to get my hair cut, and I decide to cut it short. My hair is down to my lower back and my mom has never let me cut it any shorter than my middle back. She would braid my hair every day before school and make me look pretty. She crys when she sees my hair cut all the way up to my shoulders. But she told me that it was my choice and that as long as I didn't make myself look like a boy then she would be alright with it. The beautician puts the sixteen inches of hair in a braid and gives it to my mom.
My first day of high school and I don't know anyone. On the bus ride a girl named Rose sits with me. She invites me to join her church youth group and go on a hike of Gulf Hagus with them. I kindly accept and asked my parents if I could go. My parents meet The youth group leader and help me pack for my trip. They are ecstatic that I made a friend so quickly. My father use to hike Gulf Hagus when he was younger and gives em some pointers on how to stay safe on the hike. It was a long day of hiking and then we went to a Steve Green concert at the Bangor Auditorium. I was amazed at the feeling I got from his music. I was saved that night at the concert and church became a huge part of my life.
After my freshman year I went through a relationship that broke my heart half way into my junior year. I met him at church and thought that his faith in God was as strong as mine had become. He wanted so much that was not in God's plan for me. So after about a year and half with him I caught him cheating on me. I guess waiting wasn't something he could do. So after a broken heart I changed my plan for my life. I signed up to Join the Maine Army National Guard. I joined in April of 1997 and had my very first drill weekend that month. I met the most wonderful man that weekend. I left for Basic training on June 19, 1997. I returned home on September 7, 1997. I finally let down my guard and knew that the "army guy" was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Our first time together physically I go pregnant.
I was confused and didn't know what to do. He was almost ten years older than me and I was scared that he would leave. He didn't leave though. He stayed by my side through every appointment, class, and pain. He was a wonderful man! We had our son on May 5, 1998. I graduated from high school on June 7, 1998. Brian (Army guy) had gotten an active duty position in Old Orchard Beach. So the day after I graduated, I moved my son and I down to live with him. Throughout the next few years we moved around the state of Maine for Brian's job. I stayed true to my beliefs in God but I did not find a church that I felt welcomed in. So I would attend my home church in Corinth when I could. And since Brian was Catholic, I attended his church in Hampden as often as possible.
Our son grew right before our eyes. He was so smart and full of energy. When he was five his father and I parted ways. We did not live together but still kept each other as best friends. We both put our son above all others. This helped when we found out that our son has Tourettes Syndrome and severe ADHD. We still to this day have daily contact with each other and share custody of our son. I am now back In Bucksport where my life began and Brian is in Hampden where his life began. We agree to raise our son to love everyone no matter what their financial, emotional, or physical status is. We have done a great job over the past ten years of raising our wonderful son. I am however not ready for our son to grow up into a young man. I have noticed signs that I embarrass him and that he no longer needs "mama's magic kisses" when he falls down. At least I now have another son that still needs me.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Overloaded
Today is my easy day! Today is the day i sit and do as much homework as possible before Thursday comes. On thursday i am in class at Emcc from 8am until 4pm. I get home around five, just long enough to get my fire gear ready. I then go to my Firefighter one and two course at six. I am there until about ten, that is if the instructors let us out by then. Last week I lived on caffeine pills just to stay awake for fire training. This week I have search and rescue training. I also have to go to fire training this weekend. Oh my goodness! Did I over do it this semester or what? Oh well, I will push through. I only live one life and I want to be the kind of person that doesn's give up. I want my kids to see how hard I work and hope that they get the same work ethic as I have.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Time to kill!
I have almost three hours to kill between my last class and my next class. This give me time to make sure I have everything ready for upcoming classes. I have completed my computer class assignments up to a point where I need help. I had my first A&P II lab today and it wasn't so bad. I have a lot of notes of things I need to look up or review, because i want to make sure I don't get lost this semester. I finally fell asleep at 3am and had to get up at 6am. My some Samuall was up all night puking, and got very upset when I didn't want to give him a drink of milk. I have a very long day today... I had my first class here at 8am and I'm here until 4pm, then I go to my son Joshua's swimming lessons and then home, grab something to eat and off to my firefighter Class for three hours. I get out of there around nine and got straight to bed when I get home. I usually get to sleep in on Friday but this week we are headed to Oakfield, Maine. We have two camps up there on the original settlement road. Our camps are right next to the cemetery where the first settlers are buried. It is a passed down story that the settlers died from contaminated water. It is an urban legend that you are suppose to say "Hi Ada" and "Bye Ada" when you go by the cemetery. Ada is said to be the ghost that takes things from the camps while we are sleeping. If you say what you are suppose to then she wont bother your belongings. I'm a paranoid mother, so I say what I am suppose to because I'm afraid she might take one of my kids... LOL! Anyway as you can see I'm excited to go to camp and get away for a few days. I'm dreading the outhouse thing though. We really are "roughing it" when we go to our camp in the sticks. But the kids love it and My Fiance loves it, so I get to enjoy their smiles while we are there. Plus it is snowmobile season! YEAH!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Know thyself
First
As I sit at the window looking out at the rain falling on this lovely spring night. I watch a puddle in the middle of the parking lot grow bigger with each rain drop it collects. It reminds me of my life at school. The puddle represents my brain that is growing with each drop of knowledge. My thoughts soon distracted by a ruckus upstairs. I cant believe I have two children that are growing up so fast. I have a wonderful nine year old boy that has the heart of an angel. I see so much of myself in him. He has a huge love for God and practices his faith on a daily basis. He strives for his dreams and has recently expressed an interest in becoming a priest when he grows up. He wants to help people no matter what. I have a wild two year old son that has the opposite personality of his brother. However he still follows his brother around like a lost puppy and wants to do everything his brother does. He is mouthy and rarely listens to me. But he loves his mommy very much and tells me several times a day. My kids make my life worth living. Without my kids I have nothing. I had my oldest son at age nineteen and although I was not ready, I did the best I could. And I think I did a damn good job. I sometimes wish that I had the same exact child when I was done college and had a great career. But that wish leads to the thought, if that had happened would I work so hard to be who I want to be without the push of my kids? I honestly think that without my kids I would not be in school and I would be someone that has minimal goals that never get met.
Second
You are only eighteen years old! What were you thinking having sex with a man that is nine years older than you? And now your pregnant? What did your father and I teach you about protecting yourself. You haven't even graduated from high school yet. OK I am sorry I snapped at you. You are eighteen and you have a big decision ahead of you. You want to keep the baby? Well that is the smartest choice you have made. You will be a great mother. But you will still attend school every day and graduate with grades that will get you into college someday. Your high school transcript will follow you forever.
You have a beautiful little boy! I hope you are able to finish out your last month of school. You have already called all your teachers? Good, and what did they say? They are going to help you schedule a time to come in and finish up your work and take your finals. OK I will watch this cute bundle for you while you attend school and graduate. But at night time he is yours no matter how tired you are.
I cant believe that my baby girl has a wonderful eight year old son. you have done a great job raising him. he is a blessing to so many people and will continue to be a blessing to many people in his future. Whats that? You have applied to college? Oh my goodness, are you sure you are ready for that? You definitely have the support needed for your family. I think it would be great if you go back to school and become someone your son will be proud of.
You have two wonderful sons and I am so proud of you. You will graduate from college and be on your way to bigger things. Never forget that the best things in life are these two gifts from God. You have made me proud to be your mother! I love you sweet pea!
Third
She was a high school junior when she joined the Maine Army National Guard. She was planning to go to basic training the summer before her senior year. The very first day of her very first drill, she met a man that was so sweet and nice to her. He had glowing green eyes and brown hair. He showed her around and introduced her to her fellow soldiers. She was still in her civilian cloths and very nervous. But she noticed that he didn't care how nervous she got, he worked very hard to make her feel welcome. When she left that day, the man asked her if she would like to go for an ice cream and talk about what to expect in basic training.
He stood there in the sunlight as she boarded the plane and left for basic training. He knew that the next three months would be hell for her. He wrote to her every day and sent his love from miles away. He knew that this was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He watched her as she waved goodbye. He thought to himself, only three months and she will be back with me. His prayers found there way to her each night as she went through the change drills and abuse from the drill instructors. He kept her picture next to him when he slept. He hoped it would keep her in his dreams.
He drove from Maine to South Carolina to bring her home with him. He endured her entire family, just to be close to her. He had never felt this way about anyone in his twenty-seven years. She had never felt this way in eighteen years. They were a match in all ways. A month after she returned home from basic training the stick showed two lines. the box said that two lines meant positive. She was scared shitless, and did not know what to do. They had only been together once and they used protection. How could this have happened? He told her that everything was going to be OK and that he would stand beside her through everything. The day she gave birth to a beautiful son, he held her hand and wiped her tears off her face. He was definitely a man of his word. How many twenty-seven year old men get an eighteen year old in high school pregnant and actually stick around? She knew that the number was low. She knew it was love and that she had hit the jackpot with him. She would live happily ever after.
As I sit at the window looking out at the rain falling on this lovely spring night. I watch a puddle in the middle of the parking lot grow bigger with each rain drop it collects. It reminds me of my life at school. The puddle represents my brain that is growing with each drop of knowledge. My thoughts soon distracted by a ruckus upstairs. I cant believe I have two children that are growing up so fast. I have a wonderful nine year old boy that has the heart of an angel. I see so much of myself in him. He has a huge love for God and practices his faith on a daily basis. He strives for his dreams and has recently expressed an interest in becoming a priest when he grows up. He wants to help people no matter what. I have a wild two year old son that has the opposite personality of his brother. However he still follows his brother around like a lost puppy and wants to do everything his brother does. He is mouthy and rarely listens to me. But he loves his mommy very much and tells me several times a day. My kids make my life worth living. Without my kids I have nothing. I had my oldest son at age nineteen and although I was not ready, I did the best I could. And I think I did a damn good job. I sometimes wish that I had the same exact child when I was done college and had a great career. But that wish leads to the thought, if that had happened would I work so hard to be who I want to be without the push of my kids? I honestly think that without my kids I would not be in school and I would be someone that has minimal goals that never get met.
Second
You are only eighteen years old! What were you thinking having sex with a man that is nine years older than you? And now your pregnant? What did your father and I teach you about protecting yourself. You haven't even graduated from high school yet. OK I am sorry I snapped at you. You are eighteen and you have a big decision ahead of you. You want to keep the baby? Well that is the smartest choice you have made. You will be a great mother. But you will still attend school every day and graduate with grades that will get you into college someday. Your high school transcript will follow you forever.
You have a beautiful little boy! I hope you are able to finish out your last month of school. You have already called all your teachers? Good, and what did they say? They are going to help you schedule a time to come in and finish up your work and take your finals. OK I will watch this cute bundle for you while you attend school and graduate. But at night time he is yours no matter how tired you are.
I cant believe that my baby girl has a wonderful eight year old son. you have done a great job raising him. he is a blessing to so many people and will continue to be a blessing to many people in his future. Whats that? You have applied to college? Oh my goodness, are you sure you are ready for that? You definitely have the support needed for your family. I think it would be great if you go back to school and become someone your son will be proud of.
You have two wonderful sons and I am so proud of you. You will graduate from college and be on your way to bigger things. Never forget that the best things in life are these two gifts from God. You have made me proud to be your mother! I love you sweet pea!
Third
She was a high school junior when she joined the Maine Army National Guard. She was planning to go to basic training the summer before her senior year. The very first day of her very first drill, she met a man that was so sweet and nice to her. He had glowing green eyes and brown hair. He showed her around and introduced her to her fellow soldiers. She was still in her civilian cloths and very nervous. But she noticed that he didn't care how nervous she got, he worked very hard to make her feel welcome. When she left that day, the man asked her if she would like to go for an ice cream and talk about what to expect in basic training.
He stood there in the sunlight as she boarded the plane and left for basic training. He knew that the next three months would be hell for her. He wrote to her every day and sent his love from miles away. He knew that this was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He watched her as she waved goodbye. He thought to himself, only three months and she will be back with me. His prayers found there way to her each night as she went through the change drills and abuse from the drill instructors. He kept her picture next to him when he slept. He hoped it would keep her in his dreams.
He drove from Maine to South Carolina to bring her home with him. He endured her entire family, just to be close to her. He had never felt this way about anyone in his twenty-seven years. She had never felt this way in eighteen years. They were a match in all ways. A month after she returned home from basic training the stick showed two lines. the box said that two lines meant positive. She was scared shitless, and did not know what to do. They had only been together once and they used protection. How could this have happened? He told her that everything was going to be OK and that he would stand beside her through everything. The day she gave birth to a beautiful son, he held her hand and wiped her tears off her face. He was definitely a man of his word. How many twenty-seven year old men get an eighteen year old in high school pregnant and actually stick around? She knew that the number was low. She knew it was love and that she had hit the jackpot with him. She would live happily ever after.
Stressed out
I have been trying to start my online course for business and technical writing for the past two days. I just cant seem to get the hang of this online course thing. I know it has only been three days since the semester started, but I think I catch on quicker with someone standing in front of the class telling me how to do things. And a question is only a hand raise away. What in the heck was I thinking putting all this stress on myself? OK, now that I got that off my chest. Back onto doing all of the tasks in front of me and not regretting any of them, or looking back.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
A stressful day
Today was my first official day back to school and I think it went pretty well. I have six classes this semester at EMCC and then I am taking a six credit fire fighter one and two course through SMCC. A total of 22 credits in all. I am determined to ace all of them though. We will see how A&P II goes! I am going to bed early tonight due to a long day at school and my future father in law being admitted into the hospital today. He has Cellulitis, which is an inflamation of the cellular tissues. it is located in his right leg and is extremely painful. I had it once in my face due to a staph infection. I looked like a Clingon from Star Trek. (The above picture.) Once the swelling went down it looked like my face was peeling from a severe sunburn. I would rather go through the 21 hours of labor with my first son than to ever go through that pain and discomfort again. But hopefully I will never have that ahppen again. However my prayers at the moment are with my Father-in-law.
Week 1 Journal
It is 1am and I really should be going to bed but I have to much on my mind to sleep. I am still not ready for this semester to start and I'm a bit stressed about it. It seems as though when I first came back to school a year and half ago that things came easy fro me. Even after ten years of being out of school. I impressed not only my family but myself when I made the Deans list my first two semesters. One would think that it would also have impressed the woman doing the interviews for the Surgical Tech program. I just don't understand? I have eight years of medical training in the Army, six years as a Certified Nursing Assistant, I'm an Emergency Medical Technician, and have been a first responder for the Orland fire department for two years. How could I not get chosen for the program? But a twenty year old kid with no medical background gets chosen? I guess I didn't turn on the charm enough or something. Anyway that is the only problem I have had with this school. I will interview again and be a bit more prepared now that I know what to expect. So until then I keep taking class' and keep making the Deans list to prove not only to myself but to everyone who ever doubted me, that I can graduate with honors and I will!
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